4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
