belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
