Ambien. No doubt about it.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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