He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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