you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
