Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
