Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
