Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
