I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
try to milk me bitch
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