He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
