i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
