It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
