She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
