Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
