im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
