your room smells of hookers.
And success
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
