hell yes lets make some ravioli
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
