i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
