I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
