I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
