I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
