I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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