i just google imaged poop.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
