That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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