ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
