hell yes lets make some ravioli
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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