don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
