He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
