I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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