hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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