I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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