I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
