elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
