I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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