Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
