Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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