I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
