why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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