PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
