I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
