we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
