so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
