Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
