I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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