i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
