girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
