I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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