i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
