Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
