So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
