Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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