If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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