So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
