This girl is more easily done than said...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
