Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
